“That’s funny. You don’t look like someone who has dementia.”
Arnold Beresh, a former podiatrist and person living with dementia, has heard this comment more than once. His response? “What am I supposed to look like?”
The logic behind Dr. Beresh’s question is clear: People living with dementia come in all shapes and sizes; in all colors and cognitive forms; and with all kinds of abilities and assets. But, as a society, we tend to hold on to some pretty stubborn and prejudicial stereotypes as to what dementia looks like.
Perhaps we carry visions of a disheveled individual staring off into the distance. Or maybe we imagine someone who is violent and unpredictable or who can’t speak a coherent sentence.
Individuals like Dr. Beresh, and organizations like the National Council of Dementia Minds (NCDM), are working hard to challenge such stereotypes by celebrating the ability to live well with dementia. As one of the NCDM members has said, “You know what? I got a purpose. You know what? I have a life. You know what? I can still do things.”
Author Christine Bryden, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease at the age of 46, describes her life this way: “I’m choosing an attitude of dancing with dementia…..I’m choosing to live my life positively everyday. I love the imagery of a couple dancing with dementia….We sense each other’s needs, and change and adapt according to the changing music of the journey with dementia.”
Bryden extends the dance metaphor to the entire team:
- The care-partner needs to “learn new steps, sense the movements” that allow trust to flourish in the relationship
- The care network is the musicians who “need to watch the dance floor carefully,” adjust their rhythm to the couple dancing
- And the person living with dementia is the one who chooses to dance,
- “create and dazzle”
- “develop new talents”
- “create a new sense of becoming”
- And, most importantly, “account for life…and reflect before God.”
Rosemary Apol-Hoezee, RN, MPH, CDP, CPHRM
Dementia Specialist
To learn more about living well with dementia, you might consider booking a Personal Consultation with an experienced Dementia Specialist, or calling us at 616-235-5499.